This book is a humorous rewrite of the Bible in the vernacular. The author left out most of the boring stuff, while rewriting and satirizing the really interesting stories,. He points out the biblical verses that contain sex, rapes, incest, violence, genocide while focusing on the many historical errors, myths, contradictions, false prophecies, and other inconsistencies that essentially reveal that the Bible is an X-Rated book.
Excerpts
On a dark and stormy night in year one, about 6,000 years ago, everything was created by a mysterious creature in outer space. No one knew where he came from. But we know that he was male. He is reputed to have fathered a son but there is no mention of a wife.
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Those angels must have been real hunks because when the men in the city saw them, they wanted to gangbang them. They told Lot to send them out or they would break his door down and drag them out. But Lot told them, “Hey, these are my guests – I saw them first. You really don’t want to fuck around with them. Tell you what. I’ve got a couple of virgin daughters you can party with.”
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(Ch
16) God told Sam, “Stop your bitching
about Saul. I guess I made a mistake about him.” Our all powerful
God made a mistakes? “Get your oil out and I’m going to have
you anoint someone else.”
“But God,” Sam complained. “If Saul finds about this,
he will kill me.” Hello! Didn’t Sam already tell Saul not
once but twice that he was going to do this?
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The first pope, who was only the Bishop of Rome, was created by the Emperor Constantine much later to unify the Church and his empire. The Church was also unified by killing off the competition or co-opting them. With all its rituals and saints, the Catholic Church today is more of a pagan religion than a Christian one and is definitely not monotheistic.
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(Ch 21:20) While Jesus and Peter were walking, they saw the Beloved Disciple, whom Jesus loved, following them. JC told Peter, “I want him to remain alive until I return.” Just think. Somewhere in this world, there is the Wandering Jew who might be gay, and who is over 2,000 years old. I wonder if he can get the senior discount?
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| Written
by: Sam Warren Illustrated by: Claude Anderson Published by: Bookwarren Publishing Services ISBN: 978-0-945949-75-6 LCCN: 2010919559 List Price: $18.95 Plus S&H & tax WebSite: http://www.Bookwarren.com/bible eMail address: Sam@Bookwarren.com |
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